Very Punny

19 09 2014

Max Lucado was on a role on Twitter the other night, pumping out puns. Hope you enjoy them as much as I did!

 Pastor Dave

 Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes. Velcro — what a rip off! Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.

All the toilets in the police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest. I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

Broken pencils are pointless. Should you ever need an ark, I Noah guy. England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

When you get a bladder infection….urine trouble. What does a clock do when it is hungry?..It goes back for seconds.

I didn’t like my beard at first….Then it grew on me. A dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary is a… thesaurus.

Class trip to the Coca Cola factory… pop quiz later. Energizer Bunny arrested… Charged with battery.

I did a theatrical performance about puns…..It was a play on words. They told me I had type A blood…But it was a typ-O.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went….Then it dawned on me. I’m reading a book about anti-gravity…..I can’t put it down.

When chemists die….They barium. Jokes about German sausage are the wurst. How does Moses make his tea?…..Hebrews it.

“I tried to catch some fog…..I mist.”




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